Category: Political Commentary

This is where you’d find the blogs I have written on or about the politics of India.

Barkha, Arnab just called a spade a spade!
Dear Barkha Dutt,

A compliment from Arnab Goswani is an insult to you. Fine! What about the compliment from Hafiz Saeed? I have seen you reacting to people’s (you’ve labeled them all #Trolls and #Bhakts) reaction on Hafiz Saeed’s appreciation but I don’t know what your first reaction was. You certainly didn’t write a blog entry calling him names the way you did for Arnab Goswani.

On one side you’re extremely vocal about certain things, people and institutions while you causally ignore to even acknowledge the very thing on the other hand. Is that fair? Nope, it’s not!

You see that’s the problem. That’s the area I want to take you to.

Before actually taking you down point by point, I’d want to bring a fact to your notice. Did you realize Arnab didn’t take any name whatsoever? On the contrary, Hafiz did. I guess that’s enough to raise eyebrows against the orientation of your allergies and allegiances.

Now let’s me take you through some parts of your own blog – point by point.

You said, “he (Arnab) lumped all of us who have reported the recent unrest in Kashmir (from the ground, not from behind the lazy comfort of a Mumbai studio table like him) as apologists for the recently killed militant Burhan Wani, without explaining the basis of his statement. The following 3 screenshots can explain it all.

What were you thinking while adding “THE SON OF A SCHOOLMASTER” to your tweet? What was your logic? I know he was the son of a schoolmaster – a father who didn’t even bother to reason with his son as he was moving on the path of Allah! Don’t tell me you didn’t know it? Rajdeep Sardesai took it to another level by comparing him to Bhagat Singh. What a shallow man this guy is!

Then you went on to say “telling the truth in all its textures – the duty of a journalist – includes reporting all sides of a story, not glossing over the bits that are too awkward and uncomfortable to confront. That would be cowardice, not reportage. he positioned us as being at some sort of war with the Army – both false and disingenuous”.

Well, tell me Barkha, did you cover all aspects of the Burhan Wani story?
- Did you know military tried to get him surrender? Do you know what did his father said on the question of surrendering? Well, here it is….
- Did you talk to Burhan’s father after his death? Or did you try to read what all he told Hindustan Times? Of course, you didn’t because his father talked about Burhan going to Allah and said “Our Isam says that God, Quran and the Prophet are bigger than anything, even bigger and more important than our sons”. But how could you show that? You just couldn’t!
- Why the Pakistani flag in which Burhan’s body was wrapped didn’t bother you? Why didn’t you talk about that?
- Why didn’t you question the separatist leaders who didn’t waste a single minute to declare Burhan a martyr?
- Did you highlight the fact that in the aftermaths of Burhan’s killing scores of Kashmiri Pandit government employees had to leave the valley? If I am not mistaken, it wasn’t a communal issue? Why didn’t you explore this story?
Multi-dimensional reportage – bulls**t!

I know you are among the journalists who have chronicled the new phase of militancy in the valley. Ideally your role should have been that of a mirror. You should be reflecting the status quo of the valley as it is. Unfortunately that has never been the case with you and the other elite journalists of your class. Can you talk about the average family size of the valley? I am asking because the size of the family can help you understand the quality of education, health services and overall life can be determined. Can you talk about the increasing number of Wahabi Islam influenced mosques in valley? Can you talk about the slogans these “misguided youth” yell while protesting? Can you justify the presence of ISIS flags during protests? Why?

Are these questions discomforting? Or are you afraid of the fatwas? Or will it impact the business of the channel you work for? After all, this too is a business, you have a boss sitting on your shoulder who tells you what limitations are! Right?

What is being gagged?

In the beef ban case stories were fabricated, scores of loathing was done in the name of freedom to eat whatever a person wants to. However, not a single media house bothered to tell that the term ‘beef’ is a generic term for both buffalo and cow’s meat and it’s the cow’s meat that has been banned (I am against the ban, FYI).

The entire journo brigade jumped in to take sides with Kanhaiya Kumar case. Did they even bother to check the authenticity of the tape? The tape which was initially called ‘doctored’ came out to be actual and authentic one. Needless to say, some media houses took the entire episode to a whole new level. Ravish Kumar did an entire episode on Arnab Goswami’s approach. Kanhaiya, on the other hand, rose to become the star of the dying sect of the left wingers.

Truth is being gagged! Facts are being gagged! And that is exactly what people like me, Arnab Goswami, Shiv Aroor and scores of people on social media are taking a stand against. Call it a rise in subversion of journalism or rise of Trolls! We are going to stay and we’re going to fight!

We have had enough of this bigotry. We don’t want it any further.

It’s just the beginning

Yes, madam! This is just the beginning of it. It’s the power of social media and the awareness of a common Indian combined together. We are wise and we don’t need your bigoted, one-sided crap you like to call news. It’s time to call spade a spade. I guess, Arnab just did that!
July 29, 2016
Kashmir and its “Manufactured Martyrs”
I am a chronic procrastinator and that’s probably one of the reasons that I am writing about Burhan Wani so late. The other reason could be the fact that I wanted the clutter to settle down. A lot has been said about him and I wanted to avoid the heated arguments. Both left-wingers and right-wingers have overworked their vocal cords and the political leeches have had a party of their lifetime. Now that things are calmer and cleaner, I am going to write about it. However, my perspective is a little different and broader.

Know the latest “Manufactured Martyr” – Burhan Wani.

Burhan Wani was born in September 1994 to Muzafar Ahmed Wani. His father is principal of a Higher Secondary School and his mother is a teacher. The family is well-off, by the local standard at least.

Burhan fled in October 2010 and joined separatist militant groups at the age of 15. Yes, he was just 15 years old. There are various reasons quoted for the step he took. Some say it was the constant frisking and manhandling of his brother by the Indian Army personals while others say that it was the Amarnath Land controversy of 2008 that forced him to take up the gun.

What made him popular?

His looks and flamboyancy! Here was a good-looking guy who didn’t bother to cover his face while showing off his gun. To add to it, he posted extensively on Facebook. He was an instant hit. He was flamboyant. He was made a member by Hizbul Mujahideen in 2011 due to his popularity on social media. Trust me; he was just another kid who thought he’d establish “Nizam-E-Mustafa” in Kashmir. Nothing more than that. Not a dime! Take a moment to digest that. Only then I’ll move forward.

Questions that will never be answered

I had so many questions in my mind when I started to learn about him. I so want to have answer of these questions
- Don’t you want to know how what was his parents reaction on learning that Burhan has turned militant?
- What did happen during 2010-2016?
- Didn’t his family try to bring him back?
- Were they in touch with Burhan all these years?
- Where did Burhan learned to hold a gun? Did he cross over to Pakistan?
Muzafar Ahmad Wani on Burhan Wani

You just can’t fathom the pain, the agony and the helplessness of a father whose teenage boy has eloped? Things get so difficult for the parents. But hey! We have a different father here. Check out the excerpts from his father’s interview published on youthkiawaaz(dot)com in the month of January, 2016.

Army did try to make him surrender. They contacted Burhan’s family many times. However, this is how Burhan Wani reacted. See how the only outcome for them is either “victory” or “martyrdom”.

And don’t miss a father justifying his son here. I am not making up anything here. I am not slicing statements to make them suit my PoV. Go read the entire interview here.

Now here’s what Senior Wani said after Burhan was “martyred”. Here is the complete interview.

If you are not feeling disgusted yet, let me tell you that Muzafar Ahmad Wani is principal of a Higher Secondary school. Can you imagine an educated person saying all this? You can’t even imagine the influence people like him can have on young men and women. Did you think of it? Well, a vast majority of the nation and our media didn’t even bother to think of it. Nobody cared and nobody bothered.

How Indian Media reported Burhan’s killing?

Every negative adjective in its superlative degree will fall short to describe our media. These crooked pimps did all they could to sanitize and normalize Burhan Wani.

See how Barkha Dutt inserted the piece about Burhan’s father in her tweet. Fine, the militant was a school headmaster’s son. So what? Does it make him any less evil?

It does take a special talent to be as shallow as Rajdeep Sardesai. This so-called-leading-anchor compared Burhan with Bhagat Singh! Can you beat that? Bhagat Singh who read Lenin and Marx, who talked about the society as a whole, who rose above religion was compared to this Islamic fundamentalist! Slow claps, Mr. Rajdeep, slow claps!

This fine lady, Kavita Krishnan went a step further and called Burhan’s execution an “extra judicial killing”. A phrase that was immediately picked by the Pakistani establishment and media houses.

Do I need to say more?

Other Manufactured Heroes of Kashmir

Google “Maqbool Butt”. Try what all did he achieve when he was alive and what all happened after his death. Ditto for “Afzal Guru”. Do it all over again for Burhan Wani. I am sure you’d find the common link.

None of these three were celebrated while they were alive. When Maqbool Butt crossed the LOC, he was arrested as the Pakistani authorities considered him an Indian spy. Afzal Guru met with a similar fate while he was alive. None of the separatist parties bothered to know about him, to consider his battle their own. Same was Burhan Wani’s fate. He was considered an Indian double agent for quite some time. For these 3 men, life changed only after they died. Go call them martyrs, if you want. Fact is they made it large only after their death. Rather they were MADE heroes.

Why are they made?

A fire needs fuel. There is no simpler explanation to it.

And the Kashmir conflict is way too complex. There are so many layers to this dispute. There is a Kashmir which acceded to India because that is what its Hindu king wanted. There is a Kashmir that Pakistan attacked to gain control of the Muslim majority valley. There is a Kashmir that people of Kashmir want to make an independent nation for all Kashmiris.

Then there is the rising Wahabi cult everywhere in the world that pumps in millions of petro-dollars wherever there are Muslims in a dispute. New mosques are mushrooming in the valley with brand new speakers that can make the cry for “Nizam-e-Mustafa” reach more and more number of ears. There has been a gradual shift in what “type-of-Muslim” the Kashmiris want to be.

What started as a cry for “Azadi” transformed into a demand for “NIzam-e-Mustafa” and in the past couple of years ground has been made for “Caliphate”. What else can explain the ISIS flags that have become an integral part of the protests? Why Burhan’s body was wrapped in a Pakistani flag? What else will explain the slogan “Hindu dogs go away”?

The character of the conflict has definitely changed. While the Kashmiris are far away from the goal, they need motivation. They need a face to identify with. They need a cause to stand for. And that is where these “Manufactured Martyrs” find their use. Remember, this guy didn’t belong to a poor and uneducated family. Yet he chose the bullet and nobody from family and society tried to reason with him. He was pushed into it. A martyr was MADE out of him. Period.
July 16, 2016
Biradari, Bahubali and Bihar: An Open Letter to Nitish Kumar
Hello CM Sahab!

Coming from advertising background I wanted to start the letter by addressing you with “Dear Nitish” as in our work culture everyone is equal. The designation, position, office held, muscle power and even the age doesn’t make any difference whatsoever. However I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t do that because here in India, we still have this habit of looking up to certain people. Politicians who’re the part of the government definitely top this chart. With the position comes the power and over time these people become habituated of it. They think that they are “Mai-Baap” of the common men. It was this reason that Lalu Prasad Yadav became larger-than-life figure in the state of Bihar. It belittled the common men so much in his eyes that he could barely see them. He could barely relate to them. He could barely empathize. And he barely thought about them. That’s where his downfall (and your peak) started.

I am afraid CM Sahab, you’ve embarked up on the same path. Bihar, politics, Chief Minister, Nitish Kumar don’t make sense to you as separate words. They have to be together to make sense to you. The position is now the only thing you want. That’s all what you want to be – Nitish Kumar, CM Bihar. That’s all that matters to you today. Beyond that, I believe, you don’t see anything. That’s bad and unfortunate.

What made you, you?

It wasn’t the assemble elections of 2005 that made you. It all started exactly 15 years before that. It started when the Lalu Prasad Yadav’s RJD got the reins of the state. It’s when the golden period of Lalu Prasad Yadav and the darkest possible period of Bihar started. Riding high on the “MY” vote-bank, Lalu got carried away. He thought that the Muslims and Yadavs of Bihar are his people. People, he thought were blind to see the reality. While the MY people gave him what Lalu wanted, the reciprocation didn’t happen. The “Pasmanda” (lower Muslims) people saw that everything done for the Muslims was limited to the Ashraf Muslims, who were already better off. Furthermore, under the Rabri Devi led government, the brothers-in-law of Lalu Prasad Yadav played havoc to the state and its subjects.

While Yadavs were too spellbound to see a Yadav in-charge of the state, the Pasmanda dreams were shattered. That’s where you came in. You tapped this opportunity beautifully. You wooed the Muslims, brought in the Dalits and Mahadalits. You partnered with the BJP but ensured that Bihar remains out of bounds for Modi. The alliance with the BJP ensured the votes of the upper castes and an easy access to media, bureaucracy and judiciary. It worked! You did it! It was a landslide victory and you became the new face of Bihar. The face of new hope. The face of new possibilities. The face of the new Bihar that, despite the difficulties and adversities, wanted to emerge for good.

But then, you screwed up!

It all started before the 2014 General Elections. Cutting the long story short – the BJP roped in Narendra Modi as their PM candidate and you panicked. You panicked because
1. You had started to dream by then. The dream of becoming the Prime Minister of the country. With Modi as the face of elections, you knew there was not even a minuscule chance for anyone else, if at all.
2. Becoming an ally of Modi led BJP would turn the Pasmandas off. No matter what you do, for Muslims Modi was synonymous to 2002 riots.
Calling the successful coalition of good 2 terms was your decision. It was a firm decision and you stood by it. Fine, you didn’t want to let a “Communal Modi” lead the nation and you did what you felt was right for you, your party, and the state of Bihar.

But then you didn’t stop there.
- 10 years back, Bihar was a cuss word. “Bihari ho kya?”, “Sala Bihari” were condescending remarks. All thanks to Lalu Prasad Yadav, “Bihari” became a very well accepted way of abusing a person. And you’re with him. You’re with your archrival. You’re with the man who ruined Bihar. Wow!
- What’s with this Maha-Gathbandhan? You really think this will work?
- This year only you didn’t share the stage with Lalu Prasad Yadav on 2 different occasions. Now you’re going to share the power with him. How can you even justify this? Isn’t this sheer greed?
- In last 2 assembly elections Congress won 4 and 10 seats respectively and you’re letting them waste 40 seats this time?
- RJD won 22 and 54 seats and this time they are going to contest on 100 seats. So in short, you have given away 140 seats just like that. Really?
- The Nitish Kumar supporters of these 140 constituencies will have to vote for Congress and RJD. In other words, SCs, OBCs, and Mahadalits will have to vote for a Yadav in some constituencies? Wow!
- You think the Yadavs will vote for you? As per the news, over 10,000 Yadavs have been killed in past 10 years. Are they still there in RJD’s reach?
- You think with All India Majlis-e-Ittehad-ul Muslimeen or AIMIM of Asaduddin Owaisi planning to contest 24 seats in the Seemanchal region of Kishanganj, Purnia, Katihar and Araria wouldn’t spoil your game?
- Where are Raghuvansh Prasad Singh, Jagadanand Singh, Prabhunath Singh and Mohammad Taslimuddin? You think these RJD leaders will let you bring down their political career?
- Not to forget the Jeetan Ram Manjhi debacle. You sure you still have the Mahadalits with you under your fold?
A lot of readers would wonder that nowhere have I talked about the developmental works your coalition government has done. There is no doubt that a lot of groundwork happened. You rose above sectarian politics and worked for everyone there. A lot was done in Bihar and still a lot needs to be done. Unfortunately your entire focus has been on Narendra Modi and BJP.

Summing it up

The saying goes, “you shot yourself in the foot”. However in your case, you have shot yourself in the head. The game is going to get over. Soon.

Lalu’s misdeeds paved the way for your government. Your electoral misdeeds have already paved the way for Modi and the BJP.

Today, #ModiInBihar is just a trend on Twitter. Very soon, it can be the reality of Bihar.

However

C’mon, this is Bihar! One cannot be sure on what grounds the voters will vote. The wisdom of voters of Bihar (and my home state UP) is worth a research. When they can vote Rabri Devi to power, the ray of hope isn’t dead for you. Get your caste cards right. Go play politics, the Bihar way – after all it’s a game of “Biradari” and “Bahubali”.

Who am I to write you?

I am no one. Seriously, I am no one. I don’t reside in Bihar. I am neither a voter nor any influencer for Bihar elections (any election for that matter). I don’t have much understanding of the way things work in Bihar. However coming from the neighboring state of Uttar Pradesh, I can say with confidence that politics there in Bihar are pretty same. Caste and religion end up becoming the key factors while development takes a backseat.

So while you have an easy option of ignoring me and this letter casually, I’d suggest you to think about it.

Regards,

PS: Your new found love with Arvind Kejriwal and AAP wouldn’t work. That guy is a novice. Look beyond him.
August 19, 2015
Who are you, Mr.? An Open Letter to Rahul Gandhi
Really, who are you?

Member of Parliament. Vice President of INC. More importantly Rajeev Gandhi’s son and Indira Gandhi’s grandson ie A GANDHI! That’s you, Mr. Gandhi, no!? Unfortunately, that’s the most of you. To me, you start and end at this one thing – being a GANDHI!

To make myself clearer, let me re-phrase my thoughts – who’s Rahul? What has he done in his life? What have been his achievements? What has been his contribution to the Indian polity and society? How capable is he to lead the INC and, god forbid, the nation?

Before actually getting into the details of it, let me tell you why I am asking you all these questions. To be brutally true, for you I am nothing. I am no one. Or, I could be anyone. Well, when there are over one and a quarter billion people just like you, the truth is that you’re figuratively nobody. However, I am someone. I am a building block of this nation and that’s what my real identity is. I am an Indian and INDIA at an individual level. I guess, now you can understand the relationship I have with you. You represent me. You talk about me. You (should) care for me. You (should) work for me. You (definitely) affect me.

Come, let’s try to know you first.

How did the politician “Rahul Gandhi” come into being?

Born in the year 1970, Rahul, you completed your education by the year 1995. I tried searching a lot but I couldn’t find any details of what you did from 1995 to 2002-03. All what’s available on public domain says that your start-up “Backops Services Private Ltd.” was trying to get established.

~~Out of blue~~ it was announced in March 2004 that you’d be contesting in the General Election due in May 2004. At best, it was hurried move to bring back the Grand Old Indian Party – the Indian Nationa Congress back in the limelight. It was so hurried that when the announcement was done, there was no written piece of information available about you. No CV was created. May be they didn’t get the time in the excitement of getting the torch-bearer from the holy bloodline or may be there wasn’t much to tell about. You won, of course. That too with a margin of over 100,000 votes but did it change much for the INC? No and the world knows it! And despite you being the face of the INC’s campaign for the 2007 Uttar Pradesh Assembly elections, the party managed to grab ONLY 22 seats of the 403. TWENTY TWO with a total of only 8.53% of votes. Did you know it, the scion of INC? The General Elections of 2009 were slightly better with regards to your and INC’s performance. Not only UPA came back to power but you also won the constituency of Amethi by a margin of over 350,000 votes. In 2012, your 200 rallies strong campaign helped the INC get a total of 28 out of 403 seats and charting 4^th overall rank in UP. That’s like 7% of the assembly seats of UP.

I wish you were smart enough to take a clue from these elections.

How did you perform in the Lok Sabha and in your constituency?

There was an article in the Indian Express titled “In attendance, Rahul led party in Lok Sabha — from the bottom”. Do I need to say more? Can I elaborate it any further without making you clinch your fists and making your party members bless me with all sorts of cuss words? Well I don’t care. So, read on –
- Your attendance
  - As per data from PRS Legislative Research your attendance in 15^th Lok Sabha was just 42 per cent.
  - The national average percentage of attendance was 76
  - And the MPs from Uttar Pradesh had an attendance average of 80 per cent.
- Your involvement
  - You participated in just 2 debates. Just 2 debates during the entire term of 15^th Lok Sabha
  - You asked no questions
  - You brought in no private member Bills
  - The average number of questions asked by full-term MPs was 297
Oops! That’s too bad. Had I been there in your place, I would have hung my head shame. Rather, I would have dug a pit and buried myself there for a couple of years.

Your misquotes

How can a political figure stand complete without displaying his command over words? You have moved a lot of people with your words. Some in fact even fell on their faces hearing you. Yes sir, you said a lot of things which are plain stupid and should never ever had come out of mouth of a statesman. Please find below some of the pearls of your wisdom.

“People call us an elephant.. We are not an elephant.. we are a beehive.. it’s funny but think about it. Which is more powerful? an elephant or a beehive?”

I don’t understand anything here – neither the literal meaning of it nor the metaphorical. Blame my banality or my mediocrity for it. However, I am damn sure even Gulzar, the king of out-of-the-world metaphors won’t get it either.

“If India is a computer, Congress is its default programme.”

Of course it is. It’s the malware that has infected the computer. It’s the virus that doesn’t die.

“India is going to be the 21st century’s Saudi Arabia in terms of human resources”

God save India if such a thing has to happen to her.

“Politics is everywhere.. it is in your shirt.. in your pants.. everywhere.”

Well this one’s my favourite and it’s an excellent one. The politics is indeed everywhere and the one which is there in pants is my personal favourite. I savor it, I long for it and sometimes I think my political pants make me do some amazing stuff.

“It (Congress) is a funny party. It is the largest political organization in the world but perhaps does not have a single rule or regulation. We create new rules every two minutes and then dump them. Nobody knows the rules in the party”

Well, it’s not funny, actually. However, it reflects a lot about the work culture you have in your party and it also goes to show how much you think before opening your mouth.

I am sure, a lot of people reading it (assuming a lot of people do read it) will continue to daydream about you, your capabilities and your potential.

(Please open Google, go to Image Search and then type Rahul Gandhi Funny. You’ll see to see what India thinks of you)

How did you become so powerful? Who gave you my control?

Having found all this information about you on public domains and after absorbing a lot of it, I couldn’t help myself. I have these aforementioned questions banging my head like anything. Trust me it’s 2 AM but I am too curious to ask you these questions.

What made you rise and (try to) shine even after such fiascos? I mean even after knowing how much you contributed to the party’s success in General and State Assembly Elections, how could you rise to the post of “General Secretary” of the “All India Congress Committee” and the Vice President of the party later on? How? And why? What did you contribute? What was your value addition? How were you better than, let’s say, Sachin Pilot?

So, what do I want to say?

You’re not a part of the Government of India anymore. You, your party and the UPA are not in power. Worst, your party represents only 44 of the 543 parliamentary constituencies. That’s about 8% of the total seats in the Lok Sabha. However, you and the bunch of Congress MPs have grabbed the attention of entire nation. unfortunately, there is hardly any good thing to say about it.

Do you realize that you and your party members just wasted an entire session of the parliament? Do you even know how many man-hours have you wasted? And how much did it cost us? You don’t have the slightest idea of it.

During the entire monsoon session you asked very fervently the resignation of Sushma Swaraj, Vasundhara Raje and Shivraj Singh Chouhan. What for? For the involvement of the ladies with Lalit Modi and Chouhan’s in possibly one of the biggest and recent scam – the Vyapam scam. You had this single point agenda right from Day 1 of the session and the entire session got wasted for that.

How could you let that happen? Weren’t there other alternative action plans that you could have pursued? Did you think of dragging Sushma Swaraj and Vasundhara Raje to the court? Don’t you think a PIL kinda thing would have helped you out? INC has a pool of very learned and experienced advocates like Kapil Sibal. You could have used them?

No. You didn’t. The congress didn’t think either. You all put your shallowness on display every single day of the session. Placards were displayed, Sonia Gandhi went down to the well, Youth Congress members shaved their head. What the hell was all that? Theater? Or an over-zealous move to keep the nasty dynasty working?

It was probably the worst of INC so far. But I am not surprised. In fact I believe there are much more worsts lined up as the Grand Old Party of India gears up for its extinction. I would request you to spare me the horror. Spare the one and quarter billion dreams the horror of you and your party getting callous and getting out of the context.

Last but not the least

You are the precious one for your party not for me. Not for the rest of India. You get all the news space you get because you are the Rahul Gandi and not because of your oratory skills. You don’t know what real India is, what real Indians are. What you have seen all your life are the people who suck up to you. But remember Digvijays and Sanjays don’t are not equal to India and Indians.

I know you’re trying too hard to survive. You are trying to keep the party in centre-stage. In an ideal world we should have lauded and applauded you but the reality sucks. The reality is that you suck at politics. You don’t have knowledge to be the VP of India’s oldest party. You don’t have skill to lead a nation. You don’t have sincerity to represent people. You don’t have clarity of thoughts to give proper answers in interviews. You carry cheat sheets to parliament. You copy obituaries from your phone. You’re wasting nation’s time and money. You’re wasting my time. And I won’t allow you to do it.

We don’t want your hyperactivity. We don’t want any activity from you. Please take another holiday, get to know a local girl, fall in love with her and never come back. We can manage without you. We have had a lot of good Gandhis. We definitely can manage without you.

Thank you.

PS: This letter is about you. I intentionally didn’t bring up the scams done in UPA 1 and 2. I didn’t write to get into mudslinging. I didn’t want to accuse anyone because what’s done is done. It’s over. I just wanted you to give a perspective of how wasteful your existence is. For me. For India!
August 14, 2015
नेताजी अगर दिल्ली आ जाते तो!
नमस्कार!!

भाई मैं UP के एक ठीक-ठाक से शहर से हूँ। यहीं पैदा हुआ, पला-बढ़ा और graduation तक पढ़ा। उच्च शिक्षा और नौकरी-मज़दूरी का लालच हमको भी खींच ले गया दिल्ली। वैसे हम दिल्ली में रहने वालों के लिए दिल्ली, नॉएडा, ग़ाज़ियाबाद, गुडगाँव और फरीदाबाद – सब करीब-करीब दिल्ली ही है (बिजली-पानी की व्यवस्था एक बड़ा फ़र्क़ है)। अब पिछले 8 सालों से इधर ही हूँ। दिल्ली के साथ-साथ मुम्बई और हैदराबाद भी रह आया हूँ कुछ समय जे लिए। खैर, वापस आते है मुद्दे पर जो है अपना UP।

जैसे कि 92.7 Big FM के RJ नीलेश मिस्रा कहते हैं कि कुछ तो बात है UP में, मैं पिछले कुछ दिनों से सोच रहा हूँ कि भैया ऐसा क्या है UP में? पिछले हफ्ते वापस अपने शहर आया तो FM पर सुना UP सरकार का एक नया राग सुनने को मिला – “युवा सोच, युवा जोश” जो कि एक बेसुरे का गाया हुआ भद्दा सा गाना है UP के युवा CM द्वारा किये ~~करतूतों~~ UP के कायाकल्प के बारे में। इसे सुनकर वो 2014 के लोकसभा चुनावों में पेला गया गाना याद आ गया और आईं कई साड़ी बातें मेरे दिमाग में। आओ पहले आपको वो गाना याद दिला दूँ।

आओ मिलकर देश बनाये, आओ मिलकर देश बढ़ाये।

नेताजी को दिल्ली लाये, दिल्ली का दरबार सजाएँ।

और जो बातें मेरे दिमाग में आयीं वो ये थीं कि अगर नेताजी सच में दिल्ली की कुर्सी पर बैठ गए होते तो हमारे इस गरीब से, पिछड़े से देश का क्या ~~भयंकर नाश~~ सुन्दर विकास होता। फिर हमारे देश की स्थिती क्या होती ये मैं कुछ news headlines के रूप में बता रहा हूँ।
- भारत करेगा Olympic 2190 की मेज़बानी। UP के सैफ़ई में बनेगा विश्व का सबसे बड़ा stadium।
- देश पहले Uniform Civil Code के लिए तैयार। उलेमा कॉउंसिल ने बनाया पहला secular UCC
- Finance Minister “यादव सिंह” ने किया World Bank के दावों का खंडन, कहा भारत ने नहीं लिया 13,000 करोड़ का पशुपालन उत्थान लोन।
- भारत की पहली बुलेट ट्रेन, Yakuuuub Express बनकर तैयार। राजधानी दिल्ली को एटा, इटावा और मैनपुरी से जोड़ेगी। दूधियों के लिए होगी वरदान।
- देश के पहले मध्यावधि cencus के माध्यम से देश का बदला हुआ जातिगत परिदृश्य सामने आया। UP, बिहार और हरयाणा के भैंसपाल जाति को 30 प्रतिशत और अल्पसंख्यक समुदाय को 25 प्रतिशत आरक्षण।
- दिल्ली स्थित “जौहर विश्वविधयालय” जिसको हम पहले राष्ट्रपति भवन के नाम से जाना करते थे, को 420 करोड़ की अतिरिक्त धनराषि दी गयी। इसका उपयोग अल्पसंख्यक समुदाय के उत्थान के लिया किया जायेगा।
- RBI गवर्नर, रघुराम यादव ने सैफ़ई में भारतीय मुद्रा की नयी प्रेस स्थापित करी। मुद्रा छपाई का 3 साल का ठेका प्रमोद यादव को मिला। ये नेताजी के प्रपोत्र के बहनोई है।
- भारतीय क्रिकेट टीम के नए कप्तान विराट यादव ने संभाली टीम की कमान। कहा 8 यादव खिलाड़ियों के टीम में होने से होता है घर जैसा एहसास, नहीं आती मैनपुरी की याद।
- आजमगढ़ की टीम, शेर-ए-आज़म निर्विरोध चुनी गयी IPL की विजेता। कल से यही टीम लेगी Pro Kabbadi League में हिस्सा।
विचलित हुए? तो शेयर/पोस्ट/RT करना मत भूलना!

Regards,

PS: ऊपर लिखी सभी बातें कोरी बकवास हैं। इनका किसी भी जीवित या मृत व्यक्ति से कोई सम्बन्ध नहीं है। मैं ऐसा इसलिए बोल रहा हूँ क्यूंकि मरने से डरता हूँ।
August 12, 2015
The AAP govt that isn’t: Open Letter to Ashutosh!
Hello Ashutosh!

I do remember you presenting news and anchoring debates for a news channel. You joining the Aam Aadmi Party was a news too and I kinda remember that as well. However I got to know the real you when I started following @ashutosh083B (the twitter handle run by @sailorsmoon). This guy put forth the real you by very rightly predicting your PoV well in advance with his sarcastic tweets.

The attack on Alka Lamba, an AAP MLA, has been making headlines for past 2-3 days. It definitely was an act of shame and cowardliness. Hitting someone can never be a part of the solution, no matter how difficult the situation is. Violence can never solve anything.

I saw tons of tweets coming from people of almost all possible political ideologies. Emotion laden tweets, tweets calling people names, tweets about Human Rights, tweets about governance, tweets laced with foul language and tweets that were plain stupid. I am sorry to say, but a lot of stupid tweets came from your twitter handle. Then, I read your blog “AAP Full of Alka Lambas, Come, Break Our bones” and to be true, I wasn’t surprised at all. What I read was expected. However I can’t hold myself any further and I want to ask you some questions?
- First thing first, where was Alka Lamba hit? Was she hit in the sweet shop, entering it, leaving it or nearby it?
- Secondly, in her fight against the evil of drugs, what was Alka Lamba doing in that sweet shop?
- There is a video from the CCTV footage of that shop. If that’s not doctored, why was Alka Lamba pushing that billing machine and other stuff?
- Who actually attacked her? You wrote in the article that there was a guy covered in quilt running on the rooftop (in the month of August who’d roam around on rooftops in a quilt? A lunatic or a pre-planner, I guess! ). He was caught and was handed over to the police. As per the locals he was working at the sweetshop, right? Did police confirm it? Did he or the sweetshop owner corroborated as much?
- What was the age of the attacker? Was he anyhow related to the sweetshop owner? If he is above 18 then how can you blame the shop-owner for what a servant does? See, I am 30 and if I go about slapping someone, I don’t expect him/her running to police saying that XYZ’s son or XYZ’s servant slapped me. What do you think?
- Was the BJP MLA present in the shop when all this happened? While you can see a lot of images of Alka Lamba before and after she was hit, where are the images of this BJP MLA? If in case, he wasn’t there, does this entire episode really make any sense to you?
- Alka Lamba said that she attacked the shop after she was attacked. Is it so? She, an AAP MLA, took the matter in her own hands? Did she inform the policemen who were present there? Didn’t they do anything?
Over and above this case, I have noticed a lot of your tweets that don’t make any sense. I am posting them here, along with my questions.
- What’s with these “Conspiracy Theories” that surface every now and then? Start following AAP people and one would get to see that almost entire world is BJP/Adani/Ambani agent plotting conspiracies against AAP.
- What proof are you talking about here? Much like the “conspiracy theories” this term ‘proof’ is used repeatedly and regularly. What are you talking about here? That whatever BJP said was right and the Police corroborated the same? Or are you trying to say that whosoever doesn’t share your PoV is BJP agent (who were all Congress agents before May 2014, by the way)?
- What is Modi Police?
What exactly are you trying to say here? If you think that the police aren’t doing the job the way it should be done did you guys think of taking it to the court? Let’s assume that the PM is corrupt, the central government is corrupt and same is the case with the police as well. I am sure you’d agree that the Indian judicial system isn’t corrupt. The “Yadav Singh Case” is the clear cut example. While the UP government tried their best to save Yadav Singh, the courts of this country are doing what’s right. Why don’t you guys do such a thing?
- What’s with this tweet? The equation: Alka + Bassi + PM + Bihar =_____________________?
What has the attack on Alka Lamba got to do with Bihar? In case you’re simply using it to lube up the Bihar polls, congratulations AAP too became the regular political party who spins shit and plays with it to get attention.
- Towards the end of your article, you said that “Every minor incident is blown out of proportion and false cases are slapped against them (AAP MLAs)”. We sir, this is exactly what AAP is doing 24*7 these days. Do a random survey of Twitter handles of AAP people, 90% of the tweets are against the BJP. Sir, instead of actually working, you’re creating a puddle of political filth. And you all have started to enjoy it.
- You also said that “AAP’s crime is that it dared to challenge the might of a leader and a party who in its nature is intolerant and leaves no space for dissent and disagreement.” Clearly, YOU are using these incidents to take political advantage. In your language, isn’t this “ENOUGH PROOF”?
Last but not the least, do you, the MLAs and the party members know that it is YOUR GOVERNMENT in the state? YOU ARE A PART OF THE GOVERNMENT OF DELHI! Isn’t there anything that you can do in the state assembly? Isn’t there anything the courts of this country can do for you? You all make the AAP government look a bunch of losers who, despite being in government are constantly behaving like street urchins. Till when are you going to fool around like this? When is this naïve behavior going to end? I know the common man is isn’t abreast of how government machinery works. I know you and your bunch are going to manipulate it all till the very end.

Pity, the national capital is in hands of people like you!

Regards,
August 11, 2015
कश्मीर की आज़ादी

वो च्च्चा था, ये था भाई,

वो बुड्ढी थी सबकी ताई।

उस जन्नत के फ़िरदौस का

कोई फूल था कोई था माली।

हर सुख दुःख इनका साझा था,

नून-चाय, वाज़वां साझा था।

नन्द ऋषि – लाल देद की औलादों को,

लड़ना – झगड़ना कहाँ आता था?

कश्मीरियत के वारिसों का आखिर,

खून भी तो साझा था।

झेलम – डल, हज़रतबल – खीरभवानी,

रेशा-रेशा, ज़र्रा-ज़र्रा साझा था।
एक मतवाले ने देखा सपना,

निज़ाम-ए-मुस्तफा लाने का।

अलसाई सी वादी में,

दावानल भड़काने का।
लाल चोक फिर लाल हुई

और क़त्ल कश्मीरियत का हुआ।

हुआ अनाथ कोई तो कोई बेवा हुई,

हुई क़ुबूल पाक की बददुआ।
राजतरंगिनी लिखने वालों ने

लिखी विनाश की बोलियाँ।

झेलम भी खून से लाल हुई,

जब चली आज़ादी की गोलियाँ।
आज़ादी के सपने में,

बच्चे – लड़के कुर्बान हुए।

जुड़े नहीं जो इस मजमे से,

हिन्दू हुए, गद्दार हुए।
मिला किसी को कुछ खास नहीं,

बस शमशान यहाँ गुलज़ार हुए।

और मुठ्ठी भर की ज़िद के आगे,

लाखोँ के घर बर्बाद हुए।

July 13, 2015
चुप ओये चेतन भक्त… Oops… भगत!!
Dear Mr. Bhagat, I am 30. Born to Hindu parents – so a Hindu by birth. I come from a not-so-known city of Uttar Pradesh. I work here in NCR with a digital advertising firm. I write mails in English, I talk to my friends, not-so-friendly colleagues, and bosses in English, day in day out. Last but not the least, I kinda like Narendra Modi.

Your “Anatomy of an Internet Troll” left me intrigued. Rather pissed. I felt you pulled me up by my hair and dropped me in a box labeled – modi bhaqt.

I guess you generalized. It’s bad!! Generalizing is bad. It’s a very shallow thing. Much, much more for a person like you.

Why you??

You’re an icon. Icon, for the whole bunch of kids who are in their late teens or early twenties. In a country like ours which is having sex and multiplying like rats, the count of such “fans” run in millions.

Let me take an example here. I have read 3 of your books. First three ones, to be precise. I read them as and when they came out and I was in college at that time. So, when I read “2 States” I had this impression of you being a tall, fair, muscular with a heavy, super-manly voice. Much like the image we have of “Punjabi men” (see I am generalizing). And it was quite obvious too as movies have made us learn that it that way only. However, when I saw you in first episode of “Nach Baliye” my entire imagination of you was shattered to the core.

You are just the opposite of the “2 States’ protagonist”. The toned body was absent. The hair was absent. The voice, too, wasn’t there. And, for me, you were effeminate (see I am bisexual. I have closely seen and lived the VIBGYOR lifestyle and I can very well see if the guy falls anywhere/somewhere in the spectrum). By the way, that’s not even the worst part of it. The worst was that your constant commentary on participants’ love life. You were being preachy, judgmental and MY-WAY-IS-THE-ONLY-RIGHT-WAY. Which sadly, was all crap. In short, that commentary was just not required. Overall, you made yourself look like a fool thus shattering the image that I (and most of us) have of you in our mind.

Well, enough of this generalization bit. Let’s talk about your article.

You provided 4 traits of a “Bhaqt”. First is true, for me at least! I am a male. Congratulations on that! 😉

Now your second point says that Bhaqts have weak communication skills. Aah, Mr. Writer, why did you say that? And you tied “being cool” and “sophistication” with spoken English? Really? Let me give you few more examples here. Rahul Gandhi and Rahul Mahajan. They both can communicate very well in English. However, the former isn’t cool and the latter isn’t sophisticated. Boom!

Your third point talks about Bhaqt not being good at talking to women, their inability to get women and being sexually frustrated. Whoa!! That’s too much of shit you can throw on a person in one go. Well Mr. Writer, that’s a very subjective thing. There are people who don’t know how to talk to women and constant approach them sexually. Look around, you’d find examples in every walk of life. In film industry, politics (remember some Tiwari?), in sports committees. Everywhere. I’d just tell you not to generalize.

Your last point has taken me by surprise. You think it is the Bhaqts who has issues with their Hindu/Hindi speaking identity? What rubbish! It’s people like you who’ve created that identity crisis. You only glued ‘English speaking skills’ with ‘sophistication’ and ‘cool quotient’. Not me. You know that the guy standing across the CCD counter doesn’t speak fluent English; still you place your order in rather phony accented English. Why? Haven’t you seen ladies around you addressing autowallahs with a very idiotic “Bhayaaa”? It’s the handful of rich upper class that looks down. Don’t blame the boys of the entire middle, lower-middle class for that.

There’s much more. I have used the word ‘Shit’ somewhere in my letter. Did you notice it? I am sure you didn’t and most of the readers would’ve missed it too. Now imagine if instead of shit I had used a Hindi counterpart. What would have been your reaction?

You’ve issues with these Bhaqts abusing these confident, English-speaking women who oppose Modi, right? Well I don’t like it either. Everyone is entitled to say his/her heart out. At least till they time they don’t come in the way of others’ rights. But you see, there is a bit of Hindi-English issue here.

While terms like “who’s got the balls”, “ass”, “lick my butt”, “lick my back” don’t raise any eyebrows, why do words like “कुतिया”, “बेहेनचोद”, “लंड” are objected upon. Who’s at the fault here? The English speaking, confident women, I guess.

You stop calling me “ass” and I’d stop calling you “चूतिया”. It’s okay, I believe?

There are a lot of things that I want to write further but I don’t have any energy left in me to do it. So, I’ll keep it short.
1. I have had a lot of sex with men and women both. I am not sexually frustrated.
2. I love Hindi as it is my mother toungue.
3. I respect women but can’t let them shit around.
4. I am not a Bhaqt yet I like #NaMo for a lot of reasons.
Why don’t you get back to work…. I mean go suck at Nach Baliye’s set.
July 11, 2015